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But the obsession with sex, the checking out of random dudes on the street, and the constant chatter about phallic symbols, getting laid ,and unlocking third base like the levels of some video game…
And so I, in all probability, was bi-romantic in the sense that I seeked affection and companionship from both genders but not sex.
What I realized was that my romantic affection for other people was completely independent of both genders and my once-in-a-blue-moon sexual stirrings were always directed at men, and therefore the closest definition that best described me was that of a bi-romantic gray (hetero) sexual.
Back then, our world was divided into two binaries – you were either a heterosexual chick who’d sell her soul to sleep with each member of her favorite boyband or you were a “lesbo” who had crushes on pretty teachers, held your best friend’s hand a bit too tightly, and was generally shunned by the homophobic majority.
Coming from very conservative families (most of whom still believe homosexuality is abnormal) who refused to give us our own cell phones until we reached high school and meticulously rationed our internet usage; going to a private all-girls Christian school where we learned more about the Bible than world history…
That’s not to say that I detested the very idea of sex.
Sex would figure, but so rarely you’d almost ignore it, like a blink-and-you-miss-it cameo in a movie.
It was the internet that finally came to the rescue.
It introduced me to the notion that one’s sexual orientation needn’t be a watertight compartment, but can exist on a spectrum.
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The card of the Devil represents the darker side of humankind, all that is shameful, base, and that we avoid to confront.
I found myself slowly identifying with the gray Iiminal space that existed between asexuality and sexuality.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating