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Lil Wayne, the gremlin who got away, is just one of a string of rappers who openly and proudly lace their lyrics with melodic insults against dark-skinned black women while uplifting his beloved “red bones.” And let’s not forget about this little exposé: to reference black women intermixed for the rapper’s rhyming convenience: –bitch (by far the rapper’s favorit-est reference to ALL black women except his momma) –hoe –gold digger –dark butt –red bone (yes, this too is insulting) –hooker –slut I know there’s more, it’s just that I’ve stopped listening to the stuff and I know they’ve gotten A LOT more creative, but I’m just not up to speed on all the new lingo aimed at degrading me and my daughters.

Anyone have some updated slights, or should I check in the Urban Dictionary under, “rapper’s synonyms for black women”? Regarding the teen pregnancy outrage, Maurice, a very respectful black man and one of my FB friends said this: I don’t think the problem is misogyny rather our society and law dictates this. The average man doesn’t hate women, if so he wouldn’t want her at all.

and while she misses a travel companion, movie companion and regular sex, life is pretty much okay as it is. Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers – What do I do? Then again, many of my smart, strong, successful clients also bury themselves in their work for a decade, and emerge from their cocoon of success and travel, only to learn that they’re really, really lonely. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: men need more help; women ask for more help.

I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. I can only imagine there are millions of women who haven’t contacted me who continue to immerse themselves in that worldview that success and accomplishment matters more than love. And nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.

And on the whole the obvious answer is “No.” (Just thought I’d throw that in up front in case somebody decides to put a hit out on me.)But peel away the oh-so-phallic banana, and take a look at some of the actions black men have taken against black women and the answer might just become a little more nuanced.

Take a gander at this sorry sack of a Memphis high school that has 90 students knocked up or already lactating–ALL IN THE SAME SCHOOL YEAR. How many parents of these mothers have had Ray-Ray arrested if he was a 45-year-old playa knocking boots with their 13-year-old daughters?

A lot of men my age seem uninterested in a committed relationship, seeming to prefer a more casual “low investment, low return” approach to relationships. As a guy who was single for 35 years, I completely agree and think that – all things remaining equal – having a good relationship is a far superior state of being than being alone.(This does not mean that I look down on single people or think you should be in an unsatisfying relationship so, please, spare me the complaints.)But what gets me the most excited, Elaine, is that you’ve forced me to consider something that I’ve never actually considered before: Why Don’t Men Hate Being Single As Much as Women Do?

Do men actually ENJOY the endless tedium and stress of going on a string of disappointing dates? My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both. So, together, let’s consider why men are generally cooler with being single than women:1. As I observed in “Why He Disappeared”, this tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships.These days, people are quick to throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is.I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out). I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships…This kind of thinking keeps a woman involved with a man when she should really leave him alone. “Well he is having sex with me, that shows that he ‘wants’ me.So I should dismiss all that other evidence in how he treats me that shows me differently.I think this is something that patriarchy has convinced women to believe.

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