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I didn’t honestly don’t, but I think that’s because no one has had to put pressure on me — I’m notorious for having a Jewish “type.” My parents wouldn’t disown me if I wanted to marry a non-Jew, but they have always said that my life will be much easier — for a variety of reasons — if i’m dating, partnered to, married to a Jew.
He’s a Newfoundlander, which is (according to Jessica) “an East Coast Canadian that’s basically Irish.” She’s had one serious Jewish boyfriend (her last relationship), and of all her past partners her parents “disapproved of him the most.” Hannah has had two serious relationships; she dated her high school boyfriend from when she was 13 to when she was just about 18.
Then she was single for the next four years, and now she’s in her second serious relationship with a guy she met in a Judaic Studies seminar on Jewish humor (“of all places”).
My family taught me to value community, to treasure family, and, above all, to always question the norm.
I chose a partner who is logical and studious, kind and sensitive, creative and invested in family, and, above all, able to question the norm.
A quick overview of dating histories, because it will inform the conversation: Molly has had a few serious relationships, one lasting 5 1/2 years, none with Jewish men.
She is currently dating (“alllll the apps,” in her words) and for the first time, she is more explicitly trying to find a Jewish partner.
This results in me getting checked out a lot by yeshiva students, especially when I'm wearing a skirt that covers my knees. He isn't interested in entering the debate, or getting tangled in all the messy rules of identification. When I joined a dating site, my mother kept trying to convince me to switch to JDate. I got the sense from so many people that I had to marry a Jew. Another thought I was too involved in ritual observance. I fell in love with him so smoothly that I couldn't stop to wonder about his religious identity.
I also once got harassed by a bunch of giant, blond guys in a parking lot by the beach. In my bikini, shaking from the cold and from anger, I screamed back at them. I'm getting married in less than a month, to a man everyone assumes is Jewish. When he moved across the country for a job and couldn't celebrate Christmas with his family, he worked through Christmas day instead. I dated about an equal number of Jews and non-Jews, but marriage was always far off, and it implied other things, like the rest of my life, and kids who would require bar and bat mitzvahs. I dated two devout Christians who thought my Judaism was perfect, fascinating, and sexy, and a Jew who agreed. He can't play scales or arpeggios (so it's lucky that I can). But when I think about it, I realize that our relationship feels Jewish to me. They taught me to care deeply about social justice issues, and to be sensitive to other people's needs and situations.
There are always going to be things you have in common and things you don’t — and I think if you had to choose one thing to have in common, Jewishness is a worthwhile/valuable one.
I get that; I’m more into being Jewish now than almost ever because my partner is so enthusiastic about it.
Now, even though I am relatively young, I plan on being a working mom someday, in no rush, blah blah, when Ethan [boyfriend] and I discuss our future, we talk about having all our friends to our apartment for Shabbat, or our wedding, or anything like that — I feel like we envision it the same way because we’re both Jewish. Jessica: Same, but for me it’s more my special brand of — I’m sorry I have to say it — nagging.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating