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Men who seek this know it requires patience, wisdom, and a firm grip on their own reins.

Because he’s responsible, he restrains his sexuality until he’s ready to share her sexual risks—including that of parenthood; he’s not going to blow his chance of happily-ever-after on a woman he doesn’t trust.

In a culture claiming to promote gender equality, I believe hooking up has taken a dramatic step in the wrong direction.

Growing research evidence verifies that the orgasm gap between men and women exists—and is widest during hook ups. Consider how we complain that women “always want to cuddle afterward.” I can't speak for all women, but needing to cuddle only happened to me when he left me aroused, unfinished, and frustrated.

We say women’s libidos are less urgent than men’s, but I’d wager that if a man had to choose between painfully frustrating sex and chocolate, he’d choose chocolate, too., that hooking up is a mutually beneficial opportunity to relieve one’s own carnal appetite.

In what logical equation does gambling with my body, my future, my hopes and dreams, and the well-being of my future child ever make sense?

Now in sex, I demand fair and reasonable risk management—which is why, since my pregnancy scare, only my husband, who cares about me and who’d willingly father my child, has qualified. Pursuing sexual pleasure without commitment no longer interests me.

I’ve learned that sex, even at its height, merely echoes something far more worthwhile: a loving partnership of two people sharing everything.

What's attractive to me today is the sort of romance that lasts a lifetime.

­­­When I was 17, a friend and I promised to lose our virginity within the year.

We saw sex glamorized on TV and in music and heard popular peers talking about it as an amazing experience. I believed And so I lost my virginity to a stranger.

Despite this, it is precisely women providing men with uncommitted sex that our dating market relies on.

According to the rules, he’s supposed to dump her if she hasn’t pleasured him within three dates.

Make their coital relations mutually selfish—that is, primarily about fleeting pleasures and not about caring for the person—and she always loses. Of the two risks, we pretend that we’ve eradicated the first with birth control, but a closer examination of the facts reveals that about half of the abortions in America are the result of protected sex in which the birth control method failed—and about 3 in 10 women have abortions by their forties.

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