Working models and relationship quality in dating couples

Galena Rhoades (a co-author of this article) and Scott Stanley, both at the University of Denver, looked closely at those who married, probing into their relationship history with their spouse, their relationships with others, and the quality of their marriages.

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More than one thousand Americans, 18 to 35 years old, who were in a relationship were recruited into the study.

Within five years, 418 of those individuals got married.

The structure and rigidity of courtship meant that couples had less freedom, but also that each milestone was ritualized with most couples following the same script.

Men didn’t just propose to women, for instance; they first attained permission from the father of the bride-to-be.

Couples today seem less likely to move through major relationship milestones in a deliberate, thoughtful way.

Rather, the new data show that they tend to slide through those milestones.You can’t make an introvert outgoing, and likewise, don’t expect an extrovert to happily sit home every evening.18.Couples who actively practice gratitude and appreciation feel a deep sense of connection with one another.The truth is, there is also a great deal of overlap in what is being said about how to strengthen a marriage/relationship—and while some authors are more eloquent in how they get this information across than others, often the underlying message is consistent. The repetition in marriage/relationship advice suggests that there are important hard-and-fast principles that couples should pay attention to.So rather than searching for the golden goose that will magically send you down the path of marital or relationship bliss, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and give your relationship the attention it deserves.6.Think of the college couple whose relationship began as a random hookup, the couple who moved in together so that they could pay less rent, or the couple who chose to elope on a whim rather than have a formal wedding.

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